3:15 mt
I was struggling. I was running out of air. Water was all around, but my lungs still feels like burning. I was sinking fast deep in the salty water, deep into my sorrows and deep into my pains. I was in deep deep trouble. Light was beginning to fade, heavy is what I feel with this new pair of rubber shoes I'm wearing. Darn these shoes I kept thinking, I'm moments away from non-existence and my last thoughts will be about these shoes. Darn these shoes. Darn these shoes if only I can remove them, I might have a fighting chance for survival. Though I doubt that, even without my shoes, I still need to learn how to swim. If only I used the money my mom gave me to join the swimming lessons last summer and not bought those funky pair of sunglasses which I broke the very next day. Darn those sunglasses. Light faded, hope faded, darkness is all around. Darn, darn sunglasses.
Care for a smoke? I said yes. My cousin said no. How about some beer? I'll try that. Cuz’ just shrugged his head. We're going to this new bar, want to join us? I was about to say yes, when he tugged my shirt and said that we need to go.
We walk in different crowds my cousin and me. Where his is straight, mine is crooked with a lot of turns as well as dead ends. Both our paths have their share of obstacles. Where on my path I stop and run away in every challenge we meet down the road. He walk on straight, though at times they fall but they make it a point to stand up and continue on their journey. I have been trying to drag him to join me on the road I've taken; he would just pat me gently on my shoulders and kindly say no. He would then extend his hand and show the entrance to the path his taken and encourages me to enter it; he also offered that in this journey he'll stand proudly at my side. There are occasions that I almost had that first step, but then I'll see my foot and I think it needs a new pair of rubber shoes.
My cousin does not give up easily, he always see some chance to lead me to the door of that path, but he never tried to shove me in. He'll say I can only show you the door, but the steps you have to make. Perseverance is an admirable quality my cousin have, which I don’t share. I have given up long ago to let him see the things I see, and let him live the things I live. I have given up; he has not, something that I would be grateful for in the future.
Water splash. A new creature has emerged. What new creature? That is still him, that's still my cousin. What is new is that stain from the grimes in the water that is transferred to my polo shirt he is wearing. Well used to be my shirt, but still that's not the point, I gave that to him expecting it to be worn properly not to be used in this ritual. People around were shaking his hand and congratulating him, I extended my hand, drew him close and whispered to his ear, you dirtied an expensive polo shirt. He just smiled. He then touched his clothes -"dirty". Then pointed in his heart-"clean". I thought about what he said for a minute. Then I thought out loud -"What the hell does that mean?!"
He was about to answer me, when the pastor shook my cousin's hand. He congratulated him and telling him how proud he was on my cousin's decision. My cousin then introduced me to the pastor. I shook his hand and told him how much I enjoyed his sermon. Enjoyed sleeping through it was what my mind was actually saying. Are you next? He asked. I just gave off a nervous smile. Well nice to meet you and I know someday that you'll follow your cousin on that dip, when the time is right. He let go of my hand and took his bible that was placed on the table. A piece of paper fell from it; he did not notice that it fell off. I picked it up; it was actually a piece of table napkin. With my hands wet after I shook the pastor hand, the napkin absorbed most of the moisture of my hands which resulted to ruining the table napkin and what was written on it. No point in giving it back to the pastor now, so I tried to read what was written. There was a lot of scribbles on it, might have been his notes for the sermon. But there is only a few parts that was readable
”Suffer now, for thus it is becoming to us to fulfill all righteosnes...”
I thought about what was written for a minute. Then I thought out loud -"What the hell does that mean?!"
Memory. That was just a memory. I am once again conscious must have been the wrong spelling in righteousness that woke me up. It was still dark. I tried to breathe; fresh air filled my lungs, a very welcome relief. I opened my eyes, vision was blurry but I knew that it was my cousin who was in front of me and the one who pulled me out of the water. I was glad that he did not miss those swimming lessons last summer. He helped me then to stand up; with my arms around his shoulder he guided me towards the ambulance. I focused for a minute on the Red Cross placed on the ambulance door, and I knew that I'd be okay. My cousin opened the door he extended his hand and showed me the way. I looked at my cousin, he was wearing the polo shirt I've given him, and I just smiled. I then looked back to where I've been, in troubled waters. Above the water was the mt315 Righteosnes, the boat my cousin used to save me. I shrugged my head, as I made my first step in. "Spelling's still wrong".
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